Monday, April 1, 2013

Ian Gabriel, 13 years

Thirteen years.

A teenager.

I was a teenager myself when he was born. I always knew I wanted to be a mother--I have loved babies for as long as I can remember. I was barely nineteen when I gave birth to my beautiful boy and that is the moment my life changed forever.

When I saw him for the first time, I saw my purpose. Nothing else mattered in my world but this precious life that I had carried under my heart for 40 weeks. He arrived on his due date. He was (and still is to this day) the most beautiful baby I had ever seen. I fell completely in love with this person I had just met.

 He was a fussy, colicky baby that wanted to sleep in my arms and I let him. I remember lying in bed with him at night staring at his long lashes while he nursed. I felt like I was made to be his mother.

It was just the two of us for a very long time. We had so much fun together, but it was very hard being a single mom, working full time, and going to school full time. He was the reason I pushed through.

He is the reason my life is where it is. He suggested I marry Philip--who was one of my best friends--when he was 6 years old.  He is the reason Philip confessed he wanted to be more than friends. He has been the best sidekick I could ever ask for.

He's now a teen (?!?). It has been a very emotional few weeks for me as I try to come to terms with that. My polite, sweet, big-hearted boy is changing. He's taller than me. He shaves. He's moody and can be a complete jerk. (But almost always realizes it and apologizes) 

He's growing up...and it's terrifying.

I miss that innocent, sweet face that would ask  me to sing him to sleep every night. I'm so very proud of what a wonderful young man he is becoming. He has the best heart of anyone I know and is just as gorgeous on the inside as he is on the outside.

He hates that I still make him do photos shoots, but that's what happens with me as a mom. These pretty much sum up the moody, hormonal faces I see on a regular basis, so at least that's fitting. :)

Happy Birthday, Ian. You still melt me with those eyes and I'm so grateful I am your mom. I can't believe you are 13...

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